Sunday, 25 February 2018

The great kissing guide - how to be a great kisser and get great kisses

If you like someone very much and that person likes you back and both of you want to kiss, here is my great kissing guide. I think: kissing can be pure magic, and here are some of the best suggestions for anyone to build up on. Hmm if you like massages, just love looking at the person you are in love with, love daydreaming or riding a roller coaster - it's possible to combine all that in one kiss, if you want. Come along.

1. Embrace the moment and 2. take it slow. You really, really should be wanting to kiss the person, and when you approach those lovely lips, do it slowly - there is zero hurry, this is your moment. The person will then most likely wait for your approach and you can decide how long this lovely moment will take. Sometimes you want to look at the lips and just enjoy them before leaning in completely, sometimes you want to close your eyes and just breathe in the other before your lips meet.

3. Choose a part of the lips to kiss. It can be the corner of the mouth, just the upper part of the lower lip, the Cupid's bow - follow your instincts.

4. Choose which parts of your own lips you want to come forward first. For example: you can stroke your upper lip against the other person's lips right before stroking with both your lips. Altering both is another possibility. Even better: combine the movements of your lips with the movements of your head.

5. Apply different pressures. Either light as a feather or actually pressing the lips against each other - and everything inbetween.

6. Let go, and then kiss again. Let go, and  - kiss again. When letting go, you can gently nub the person's lips and stretch them to follow in your direction for a moment. The letting go phase can be made with long or short intervals or none at all, whatever feels right.

7. At some point, smile while kissing; it's amazing.

8. With the tip of your tongue, you can softly part the person's lips.

9. Place your hands where it's comfortable. Sometimes you can be hugging, or holding on to the other person's head. You can also gently pinch the person's lips to make them pout and kiss. Placing palms on the person's cheeks, pulling the cheeks back and then kiss can also be breathtaking :)

10. Temperature is fairly important. If you have cold lips or tongues for some reason, kiss right after having a hot cup of tea!

11. Add the tip of your nose if you like: kiss and stroke lovingly with the tip of your nose against the other person's nose or cheeks.

12. Tongue, if you feel you want to add that, is crucial in many ways. Of course you can "kiss the alphabet" (literally shaping the letters of any alphabet to touch different parts of the mouth and tongue - BUT, the idea is not to stick to the letters in order, just to have a starting point; you shall get lost in the moment and forget about the letter almost right away). Most important: communicate. You "listen" with your tongue to the other person's tongue, you "guide" (here head movements can be very useful again), and you can be more or less active or passive. You can follow the edges of the other person's tongue, and make use of the insight it's actually a muscle: you can coil it, bend it, flicker it, make it relax or tense (which changes the shape of the tongue - how cool) and alter all of this. Proved very effectful: to gently suck the other person's tongue. Also delightful: ask the person to press the tongue against yours. It's definitely more fresh to brush or at least have a mint before you kiss, by the way, and if you think that one of you have too much saliva, you could for example try to swallow some of it just before the kiss  :) And - a really deep kiss is recommended only if you have been kissing for some time first.

13. Make it fun, it doesn't have to be dead serious - but tell in advance before trying more unusual takes. Both of you using the lipgloss you find the best adds a sticky dimension which could enhance the sensation, for example, so put it on each other's lips just before the kiss. You both can also be blowing bubblegum while kissing, or try to tie a candy knot with long candy, or chew chocolate that contains sparkly fizzy sweets which will continue pop like fireworks when you start kissing. Here, it's important in particular to not rush it.

Happy kissing and please share your best kissing advice (or stories!), I would be really happy to extend this list to make kissing even greater :)

Comments from readers:
"I am surprised how much you emphasise the liking of the person. I don't recognise this at all."
Thank you for the input - some people focus on the kiss only and everything else becomes irrelevant: looks and attraction. For comparison: one could see kissing as a sport. When I sat "I like playing tennis", I probably don't specify that it depends entirely on who I play with; it's the sport itself (the kissing) that is of interest.

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