Thursday, 10 September 2015

Jana, 11 years old, on love:

I found an old poem it took me a few minutes to compose at a young age:

I vårens skymning
du underbar är,
min tanke blir grumlig
av att se dig så där.
- Minns du när solen dalade i fjärran?
vill jag dig säga,
eller något vackert likaså.
Men inget ljud kommer över mina läppar,
jag är förtrollad av dig.

And my teacher's comment: "En underbart fin dikt! Helt suverän!" dated 01-04-01. (Meaning: "a wondeful poem! Just marvelous!") (And on the back of it: "may be read out loud in class anomyously." Great, I will just publish it on a world wide web forum a decade+ later.) (And note how wonderful handwriting I had! Nobody gets to experience that anymore.)

Let's translate that into Russian using Google Translate. I speak this language and can tell you that it was quite perfect, actually. Except I did not write it to a man or a woman but made it impersonal, which is impossible with Russian grammar. And except like five other things. But apart from that!

В весеннем сумраке
Вы замечательный,
Мой разум мутнеет
видеть Вас подобное.
Вы помните, когда солнце зашло на расстоянии?
Я хочу, чтобы вы сказать,
или что-то красивое, а также.
Но звук не приходит через мои губы,
Я очарован вами.

In French, then (still using the services of Google):

Dans le crépuscule de printemps
Vous êtes merveilleux,
Mon esprit se trouble
de vous voir comme ça.
Vous souvenez-vous quand le soleil a coulé dans la distance?
Je veux que vous dites,
ou quelque chose de beau ainsi.
Mais aucun son ne sort sur mes lèvres,
Je enchanté par vous.

It still turns out ok! "I am enchanted by you" is missing a verb, for example, but is that really important after all? It is CLEAR somebody is ENCHANTED.
And not the least: English. Even more correct, but my sun was not sinking, it was rather delapsing.

In the spring twilight
You are wonderful,
My mind becomes cloudy
to see you like that.
Do you remember when the sun sank in the distance?
I want you to say,
or something beautiful as well.
But no sound comes across my lips,
I'm enchanted by you.

Hardest part to translate in all languages turns out to be "I wanted to tell you"/"Me wanting to tell you". Interesting!

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